‘Why I Love Parking’ – a Valentine’s Day ode by Jeff Nethery at Flowbird

         I did not receive the email from John Van Horn, because he  probably does not know who I am

        Or perhaps his request ended up in the email folder with all of the consultant’s spam

        But a forwarded copy arrived from a coworker as a hint that I should profess my adoration

        Of the parking business that has been the love of my life, and deserves a brief narration

        A four-hundred-word limit does not allow me to properly express my appreciation and respect

        For the greatest industry in the world, with new technology being my favorite sect

        From a part-time college job as a parking attendant, to an international parking career

        I am blessed with many great colleagues, but it’s the customers I truly revere

        Like the customer who gets their car impounded for violating rules they said they did not know

        Despite prior written warnings and the large metal clamp attached to the wheel of their Volvo

        We love the citation appeal expert who takes photos of their parked vehicle and missing regulatory sign

        Then writes a letter to the mayor about a broken parking meter and continues to rant and whine

        Or the tailgater at football game who thinks they can take up three spaces and half of the aisle for free

        And the drunk fan who pukes in the trashcan and can’t wait in line at the porta-potty to pee

        We love the customer who expects parking to be free, even if the merchant did not validate

        Then puts their car in park until we agree to open the gate

        Or the thrifty parking lot owner who bought one pay station ten years ago to manage a huge parking lot

        And doesn’t believe in preventative maintenance, but expects the technician to be there on the spot

        Then claims loss of revenue and believes a parts warranty should cover labor, too

        And complains about the invoice and thinks his decade­ old meter should still work like new

        We also love the parking operator who likes to change rates almost every day

        Crunching data and running reports to determine how much each customer should pay

        It’s Donald Shoup’s fault, of course, for writing the bible on improving utilization

        We mostly love that The High Cost of Free Parking has created more paid parking across this great nation

    2020-02-16T14:12:26+00:00February 3rd, 2020|
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